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| Guest Editorial: Prince Harry “I like to get pissy with the drink and hit on the lasses” |
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| I’m glad that The Blue Brick is giving me a chance to write an editorial. There is a bloody lot of pressure on me, being a prince and all, and I’ve gotten some negative publicity of late due to my drinking and drugging, right? So, anyway, I’d like to take this opportunity to clear the air a bit. My affair with the drink has not hurt anyone, so I wish people would just piss off about it, right? Right then. Listen, I’ll admit that I like to get pissed (pissed means drunk, you stupid Yankees) and hit on the lasses. Who doesn’t, right? All right, then. But, though I’m only doing things that normal blokes do, but I am constantly watched by the public and the press. So, it gets turned into a bad thing when I get pissed and use my royal heritage to bed a lass or two. Believe me, if you had a camera on you all the time, I’m sure you would bloody embarrass yourself every day, so I’m actually ahead of the game a bit. There’s also a lot of bloody talk about me smoking habits. For the record, I have experimented with marijuana. Actually, it’s been about a two-year experiment to this point, and my findings have been bloody fantastic! The only thing better than getting blotto on the booze is getting blotto on the booze and then lighting up a doobie. Then, if you can bed a lass on top of that, well that’s bloody perfection, right? All right then. Most Americans don’t understand the importance that the royal family has in Great Britain. It’s very well the most important thing to most normal Brits. They look up to us, which is great because I can take advantage that way. But, me brother and I are just normal boys. Teenage boys at that, right? So, we’re going to do things that normal boys our age do. We’ll most likely grow out of it, you know. The drugging, I mean. I think I’ll always have a taste for the lasses. Look, as long as our father is alive, neither one of us will be king and have any responsibilities at all. Bloody hell, even after he is dead, how hard can it be to be king? Besides, me brother is first in line for the throne, which means that I can pretty much do what I bloody well please, right? Kind of like how Billy Carter was, drinking the beer and all while his brother tried to take care of things, right? All right then. I hope I manage to keep me looks up better than that bloke did, though. He was a bloody mess, that Billy Carter. I have got to wrap this guest editorial up, then. There’s some sort of party later, and I need to take a nap and finish off the last of this hangover I’ve got from last night. Besides, the lass that does me schoolwork for me is coming over in a spell, and I think I can bed her. |