Columbus, OH – Ohio Governor Bob Taft announced yesterday that the official state nickname will be changed from “The Buckeye State” to “The Battleground State”, effective January 1, 2005.
The change comes after Ohio became the focus of both candidates during the 2004 presidential election. The state’s twenty electoral votes were pivotal in the Bush victory, and if the state had gone to John Kerry, it would be he, not Bush, sitting in the Oval Office for the next four years.
Taft made the announcement during his weekly press conference in Columbus. “Ohio is proud to forever be known as ‘The Battleground State’. While there was certainly nothing wrong with being ‘The Buckeye State’, this administration feels that our new nickname is a lot, well, better.”
Many democrats decried the move, which is expected to cost millions of dollars. Said state representative Dorothy Flowers, “the costs of this seemingly useless change in our state nickname will be astronomical. Official state letterhead, signs, and license plates will have to be changed, and I’m stupefied as to why (the nickname change) has occurred.”
Taft deflected the criticism by saying that private investors will fund the changes, and that the license plate production “will keep our state’s convicts busy for awhile”.
The Governor also said that the change will raise the state’s profile and increase tourism. “Who wants to visit ‘The Buckeye State’? Not me. I mean, I live here anyway, so I don’t really count. But, ‘The Battleground State’? Now that is just a cool name, and I think folks from other states, especially boring states, will come to Ohio, and our state revenue will skyrocket because of it.”
President Bush applauded the change, saying that he “really liked” the new nickname, and that he “wasn’t really sure what a buckeye is, anyway.”
Flowers and other state democrats are expected to attempt to block the change, but have no legal ground to stand on, according to legal expert Andrew Mays. “This type of change, while unprecedented, is in fact made at the sole discretion of the Governor. Those that oppose this change are, unfortunately for them, going to have to live with it.”
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