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| Women Plan Affairs as NFL Season Begins British men most likely beneficiaries of frustrated women's affection |
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| Pittsburgh, PA - It is that time of year again. The NFL is kicking off another season. Time for men to get settled in their favorite chair and spend each Sunday afternoon in their underpants, watching hours upon hours of NFL games and highlights. It is also time for wives and girlfriends to meticulously plan and carry out sexual affairs, mostly with foreign men who have little or no interest in American football. Sally (not her real name) lives in suburban Pittsburgh, PA and her husband is an avid fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers. "He watches every game, every highlight, every report. He doesn't miss anything, and that gives me time to have a torrid affair with Simon, my British lover", she told The Blue Brick. Like Sally, a growing number of American women now look forward to the NFL season, instead of dreading it as they had on the past. "God, I used to get so angry during football season", said Sally, "but now, it's a great time for both of us. He gets to watch all of the games, and I get to sleep with a British guy, pretty much guilt-free". Last year, Sally suggested to several of her girlfriends that they too, have an affair during the NFL season, and a new subculture was born. "At first, I wasn't sure if I should", said Sally's friend Allison (also not her real name). She said that she tried to keep her husband interested in her by cooking and cleaning naked, but it did not work for long. "He would hop on me during pre-season, but once the regular season started, my breasts could have been on fire and he wouldn't have noticed". Soon, Allison found herself on a date with Simon's friend Niles, and an affair began soon after. "It's nice" says Allison, "Niles doesn't care about football, and by the time he has bored me to death with all of his British nonsense, the season is over and I can get back to my relationship with my husband. Everybody wins this way". Marriage experts frown on what is being called "gridiron affairs", but acknowledge that in some cases, it can keep a relationship or a marriage together. "Some men really do care way to much about the NFL", says relationship guru Alan West. "Having the affairs may keep wives and girlfriends from getting angry and resentful, and therefore keep an otherwise healthy relationship together." West stresses that there are better ways to deal with the NFL season, such as planning a night together each week when football is not televised. Sally and Allison, however, plan to continue their "football flings" as long as their husbands insist on watching hours of football each week. "No way am I giving up Simon", says Sally. "Not until my husband stops loving football, and that isn't likely to happen anytime soon, unless he gets brain damage or something, and even then I'd probably have affairs for a whole other reason, you know, because he'd have brain damage and all". Click Here to go to the front page and get more satire! |