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| Democrats Implement "Bobble Head" Giveaway to Entice Voters to Polls |
| Washington, DC – Democratic leader Tom Daschle announced today that several congressional districts across the country will give away “Bobble Head” dolls to registered democrats who turn up to vote this November. If the plan works, democratic turnout at the polls may increase enough for the party to win several close races, and weaken President Bush’s ability to move the Republican agenda through Congress. Republican leaders responded with harsh criticism. Republican Congresswoman Anne Northrup, of Louisville, KY, herself involved in a close race, called the proposed giveaway “an act of desperation”, and “really, really stupid.” Speaking to a group of senior citizens, Northrup added “with the tax cuts that (Republicans) have planned, you can buy all the Bobble Head dolls you want”. President Bush, visiting with school children in Boston, echoed Northrup’s sentiment. “Sure, everyone likes Bobble-Head dolls”, said Bush. “When I owned the Texas Rangers, (a Bobble Head giveaway) was a sure-fire way to draw people to the game, especially hillbillies. But this is politics, and we must maintain high ethical standards.” After sharing a school lunch with students, comprised of pizza and french fries, Bush added “If this Bobble Head giveaway influences the elections, the terrorists have won.” Daschle responded to the criticism during an afternoon press conference. “We are only giving Bobble Heads to democrats who have been registered since the last elections. This should keep folks from joining our party for the sole purpose of obtaining a Bobble Head. Think of it as our way of saying ‘Thanks for ignoring the scandals and sticking with us. Now go pat your doll’s head, and watch it bobble.’” Florida officials said that the state will not participate in the giveaway, hoping to avoid another voting scandal that has plagued the state in recent elections. The Bobble Head dolls will feature the likeness of one of several Democratic leaders, including Daschle, Hillary Clinton, Richard Gephart, and former vice-president Al Gore. When told of the Gore doll, Bush said “The Bobble Head is probably more lively than its inspiration, and may have a better grip on foreign policy and economics.” Click Here to go to the front page |
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