Sports1

    Professional basketball player William Taylor became the first athlete to officially reach the elusive "Next Level" last week. While some athletes had previously reached "Another Level", no one had ever made it as far as Taylor did last week when he scored 137 points during a single game, missing only one shot, while grabbing 39 rebounds.
     He found the experience exciting, but felt a little disappointed at what he found at the Next Level. "I guess I was expecting more. You know, chicks all over the place, cool music, Cristal and stuff. Maybe I was being unrealistic,” said the 6’7” forward. "You just hear so many guys talking about it, you know, getting there (the Next Level), that I thought it would be like, the greatest experience of my life. Turns out it's a lot like this level, but higher, and with less people. Actually, I was the only one there."
     Nevertheless, Taylor should be proud of his accomplishment, says sports psychologist Susan Dunn, who has been working with Taylor all season. "His achievement is monumental. He has reached a major goal. On the downside, he may have trouble motivating himself now that he has reached such a plateau.” Dunn did offer solutions, however. “I suggest that Mr. Taylor look for motivation in more traditional places, like the hatred he feels for his parents, or his feelings of inadequacy in the bedroom."
     If anyone can do it, William Taylor believes he can. “The Next Level is pretty cool. It’s kind of strange being back at This Level now, although I think I can get to at least Another Level pretty soon.” Not one to rest on his accomplishments, Taylor has set another lofty goal for himself. “I want to figure out how to actually give more than 100% during a game,” he said.

    Alvin Rodriguez lost a tough fight last Friday night in Atlantic City. The previously undefeated middleweight was knocked out in the fourth round of a scheduled ten round bout with journeyman Tim Waters. Waters connected with a vicious right uppercut that seemed to nearly decapitate Rodriguez, sending drool and blood flying into the crowd, and he went down faster than a cheap hooker.
     While the outcome was most definitely an upset, the real shocker came in the post-fight interviews. When asked what went wrong, Rodriguez replied “I have to blame God on this one. I’ve been the first to give him credit every time I win, but tonight I feel like he had other things on his mind and wasn’t there for me.” When a reporter asked what could possibly be more important than a middleweight boxing match, Rodriguez looked puzzled. “I don’t know, man. Good question. Maybe the war in Afghanistan, or something. Look, I’ve always landed my left jab (when I’ve thrown it.) But, tonight, it wasn’t effective. How do you explain that? I’ll tell you how. It’s God’s fault.”
     To be fair, this reporter checked the transcripts from other Rodriguez interviews. Sure enough, he has thanked and/or credited God after each of his first thirteen fights, all victories. After a knock out victory over Canadian Ralph Thomas last April, Rodriguez even credited God for his very existence, saying, “If it weren’t for God, I wouldn’t be here”.
     When Waters heard the comments from Rodriguez, he seemed stunned. “I never thought about God much. But, I guess he (Rodriguez) has a point. If God helps the guy that wins, he must not help the guy who loses, otherwise both guys would win. Or, both guys would lose.   Right?” Waters’ trainer quickly rushed his fighter to the locker room after the comments and later issued a statement saying that his fighter was “very tired” and would not be talking to reporters for “several days”.
     Rodriguez will next battle Russian Alexander Punchinov in Moscow, while Waters will take on fellow Canadian Stanley Phillips at the Montreal Middleweight Festival, held annually at Montreal Middle School.
     So, whom will God be pulling for in those fights? Rodriguez feels confident that the Big Guy will be in his corner in Moscow. “I think he is testing me a little bit by not helping me against Waters. But, I think I’ll be in good shape against Punchinov.” Before leaving the interview room he added, “God has always hated the Russians. Remember Rocky III?”