Washington, DC – An F.B.I. memo dated December 20, 2001 warned president Bush and other White House staffers to chew dry snack foods, such as pretzels, slowly, or risk choking. The memo was distributed in an attempt to avoid “potentially hazardous” scenarios approximately three weeks before the President did indeed choke on a pretzel. While President Bush was not named specifically in the document, sources inside the White House tell The Blue Brick that the Commander In Chief was the target of the memo. “He (Bush) eats too quickly, especially when he is eating snacks. He gets worried that someone else will get more (snacks) than he is getting, like a little kid does. So, he snarfs down the snack as fast as he can, kind of as a pre-emptive strike. That way, he is sure to get more snacks than anyone else. He especially gets angry if (vice-president) Cheney gets more than he does.”
White House spokesman Ari Fleisher confirmed that the memo was distributed, but stressed that pretzels were not specifically mentioned. “The memo warned about the choking hazard of ‘dry snack foods’. Mr. Bush usually dips his pretzels in spicy mustard, thus giving the pretzel a certain amount of moisture, and removing it from the category of ‘dry snack foods’. Clearly, if anyone in the White House thought that pretzels were a hazard to the President, we would have taken every measure available to prevent the events of January 13th.” It was that date that Bush choked on a pretzel and briefly lost consciousness while watching a professional football game at the White House.
Despite Fleisher’s statement, public sentiment is that the unfortunate choking incident could have been avoided. A Blue Brick poll shows that 63% of Americans think that the government knew more about pretzel hazards than they are letting on. Democrats are using the situation to criticize how the Republicans analyze and react to information. “I think the White House knew more about the hazards of pretzels than they are letting on. It is disturbing to think that (the newly released memo) was widely ignored.” said House Democratic leader Richard Gephart. |
