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| Pamela Anderson's Breasts to Star in Reality TV Series "Yes, We've Got Milk" will air Tuesday nights on WB |
| Hollywood, CA - The struggling WB network announced today that the breasts of blonde beauty Pamela Anderson will be the stars of a new reality series in its fall lineup. The show, tentatively titled "Yes, We've Got Milk", will document the day-to-day lives of the breasts, and is scheduled for a full twenty-week run. Anderson appeared with both of her breasts at a news conference, along with WB executives, to announce the show. "WB is very excited about 'Yes, We've Got Milk'. It will be an entertaining show, a fascinating glimpse into the life of perhaps the most famous boobs of all-time", said WB spokesperson Mark Underhill. Television pundits are skeptical about the content of the show, but agree that the coveted 18-34 year old male demographic will most likely be glued to their sets each week. "Hell, I'm forty-five, and you can bet I'll be tuning in", said media critic James Ivy. "It looks like WB has created a show that fathers and sons can watch together." Sources at WB tell The Blue Brick that Anderson and the breasts will each receive one-hundred thousand dollars per episode, plus a percentage of merchandising and future syndication deals. Anderson declined to discuss the terms during the press conference, but did say "All three of us (Anderson and her two breasts) are happy with the deal. Let's just say that these boobs will never have to worry about money again". Anderson and WB promise an honest portrayal of the breasts, and several story lines were openly discussed at the news conference. Among them, the competition and tension between Anderson's natural breast tissue and her silicon implants. "Naturally, the natural (breast) tissue and the silicone will not get along", said Underhill. "The arguments between the two camps are really very entertaining". He added "there are days when the breasts simply don't feel well, or are tired of being held inside of a brazier. That will make for interesting television, because every one can relate to having a bad boob day, especially women." Anderson added that viewers will get a glimpse of the relationship between the breasts, and that despite their similarities, they do not always get along. "Sometimes the breasts will think that Bob (Anderson's fiance, better known as Kid Rock) is paying more attention to one of them than the other. That really drives them crazy, and they fight. But other times, they are really supportive and sweet to each other, kind of like sisters." The show will appeal to men for obvious reasons, says Ivy, but what will make or break "Yes, We've Got Milk" will be its ability to draw female viewers. "Women watch more television than men, and this show needs to capture at least some portion of the female demographic in order to survive." Since many women's groups are denouncing the show, that could prove to be very difficult. The National Woman's Organization has deemed the show "repulsive, sexist, and a indication of the declining moral values of American society". Ivy, however, thinks that the show has a chance with females. "Women like glamour, and there will be plenty of glamour on this show. Watching Pam's breasts prepare for, and attend, a Hollywood premier is something that women will enjoy." According to Underhill, however, the greatest draw for women will be "the discovery that Pamela Anderson's breasts are a lot like their own. For instance, the episode where the boobs feel inadequate and doubt their self-worth because of their need to be held up by a brazier. That's riveting, honest stuff, and every woman can relate to it. Women may not look like Pam Anderson or have her money and fame, but every boob has bad days, and ultimately, that's what will draw viewers." Click Here to go to the front page and get more satire! |