| All material written by Doug Small Copyright © 2002, 2003 Doug Small |
![]() |
| The Blue Brick is a newspaper parody and satire website. This is not an actual news site. Full disclaimer. |
| Links Featured Link: "Europe's Finest News Source". Great satire from across the pond. Support The Blue Brick! |
| Guest editorials: Martha Stewart Britney Spears Brad Pitt Julia Roberts Mike Tyson Prince Harry |
| Click Here for today's world-wide satire headlines |
| “Hands Across Pakistan” Cancelled Mountainous terrain, fanatical terrorists “too much to overcome” say organizers |
![]() |
| A human chain across rugged terrain was a "tough sell" |
| Organizers for the inaugural “Hands Across Pakistan” have cancelled the event, and as of press time have not announced plans to re-schedule. Susan Ward, a homemaker from Wheeling, West Virginia, is one of the Americans who tried to put the event together and she recently spoke to The Blue Brick.. “We are just so upset”, she told The Blue Brick. “We thought this would be a nice way for all of those Middle Eastern people to come together, unite, and stop all of their bickering and killing. We even made cookies and brought them over (to Pakistan)”. Once the American contingent arrived in the war-torn region, however, it became clear that making the event a reality would be more difficult than they had imagined. “I couldn’t believe how many mountains and caves there were”, said Ward. "And some of the folks that live in those caves were downright rude." Ward and her co-workers soon realized that constructing a human chain over mountains and through caves would be “pretty darn” difficult, she added. Physical difficulties aside, the organizers may have underestimated the number of terrorists in Pakistan, and their passionate hatred for all things Western, including silly American events. During a door-to-door campaign to sign up participants for Hands Across Pakistan, Ward and her fellow workers encountered hostility. “One young man got right up in my face and called me a ‘filthy American pig’. I thought the media was exaggerating this whole terrorism and anti-America thing, but apparently it is for real”, said Ward. Alan Jenkins, another American who made the trip, recalls one suspicious looking man who asked him to come inside his home while he looked for a pen. “At first, I thought he wanted to sign up (for Hands Across Pakistan), but I got a bad feeling when I noticed President Bush’s face on a dartboard on his wall. I think the guy may have kidnapped me, or used his pen as a weapon on me, so I got out of there.” Despite failing to pull the event off, Ward feels that the emotions and intentions behind “Hands Across Pakistan” have made it all worthwhile. “We may not have gotten thousands of Pakistanis to hold hands and make a human chain across this country, but darn it all, we sure tried. And despite some bad eggs, we did meet some very nice brown people." |