All material written by Doug Small  Copyright © 2002, 2003 Doug Small

Subscribe now! Get an email when new material is added:
email:
Powered by NotifyList.com

Select Stories from the archives:
Liquor company denies targeting underage drinkers; critics cite "Vodka Roll-Ups"
Irish Pub owner discovered to be from Scotland
Christopher Reeve gains movement, may lose some medical benefits
Study: Teen obesity linked to potent marijuna
Blue Brick investigation: Discrimination at "Big and Tall" stores
Man's fantasy football prowess not translating into real-life success
WebMd.com sued for malpractice
Women plan affairs as NFL season begins
McDonald's "Happy Meals" to include WorldCom, Enron stock
Man claims to have "One of those days", later retracts statement
Allen Iverson "Spreads my motherf______ wings", writes children's book
Retired anchorman admits local news "Irrelevant", weather "Over-hyped"
Pam Anderson's breasts to star in reality television series
"Hands Across Pakistan" cancelled
Bush's new security initiative: ADT security signs along U.S. borders
Kevin Bacon linked to Al Qaeda in "six degrees"
Wal-Mart greeter's inconsistencies trouble stockholders, execs
Ford shelves new SUV; no good "E" names left
Robert Downey, Jr. to fight inner demons on Fox's "Celebrity Boxing"
FBI memo warned Bush of pretzel choking hazard
Star Wars Geeks look for new ways to express geekishness
Holy Trinity breaks up, Holy Spirit goes solo
Contact The Blue Brick
Links
Support The Blue Brick
Blue Brick FAQ
The Blue Brick is a newspaper parody and satire website.  This is not an actual news site.  Full disclaimer.
Subscription
Blue Brick in the news
Links
Featured Link:



"Europe's Finest News   Source".  Great satire
from across the pond.


Support The Blue Brick!  




Official Blue Brick Merchandise is here!
Guest editorials: 
Martha Stewart  
Britney Spears
Brad Pitt
Julia Roberts
Mike Tyson
Prince Harry
Click here to send this page to a friend
Click Here for today's world-wide satire headlines
“Hands Across Pakistan” Cancelled
Mountainous terrain, fanatical terrorists “too much to overcome” say organizers  
A human chain across rugged terrain was a "tough sell"
Organizers for the inaugural “Hands Across Pakistan” have cancelled the event, and as of press time have not announced plans to re-schedule.  Susan Ward, a homemaker from Wheeling, West Virginia, is one of the Americans who tried to put the event together and she recently spoke to The Blue Brick.. “We are just so upset”, she told The Blue Brick.  “We thought this would be a nice way for all of those Middle Eastern people to come together, unite, and stop all of their bickering and killing.  We even made cookies and brought them over (to Pakistan)”. 

Once the American contingent arrived in the war-torn region, however, it became clear that making the event a reality would be more difficult than they had imagined.  “I couldn’t believe how many mountains and caves there were”, said Ward.  "And some of the folks that live in those caves were downright rude."  Ward and her co-workers soon realized that constructing a human chain over mountains and through caves would be “pretty darn” difficult, she added.

Physical difficulties aside, the organizers may have underestimated the number of terrorists in Pakistan, and their passionate hatred for all things Western, including silly American events.  During a door-to-door campaign to sign up participants for Hands Across Pakistan, Ward and her fellow workers encountered hostility.  “One young man got right up in my face and called me a ‘filthy American pig’.  I thought the media was exaggerating this whole terrorism and anti-America thing, but apparently it is for real”, said Ward.  Alan Jenkins, another American who made the trip, recalls one suspicious looking man who asked him to come inside his home while he looked for a pen.  “At first, I thought he wanted to sign up (for Hands Across Pakistan), but I got a bad feeling when I noticed President Bush’s face on a dartboard on his wall.  I think the guy may have kidnapped me, or used his pen as a weapon on me, so I got out of there.”

Despite failing to pull the event off, Ward feels that the emotions and intentions behind “Hands Across Pakistan” have made it all worthwhile.  “We may not have gotten thousands of Pakistanis to hold hands and make a human chain across this country, but darn it all, we sure tried.  And despite some bad eggs, we did meet some very nice brown people."