Boston, MA – Andrew Cohen, an accountant living in suburban Boston, last week claimed to a co-worker that he was having “One of those days”. Today, Cohen issued a formal retraction and apologized to family members and co-workers who may have expressed sympathy under false pretenses. “Last Monday, a co-worker asked me how I was doing as we sat in the company break room. I sighed and told him that I was having ‘One of those days’, even though it was really a normal day”, Cohen read from a prepared statement. “I’m not sure why I said otherwise. I could have said that I was doing fine, or that it was the ‘same old same old’, but I did not. I have only myself to blame for this horrible misunderstanding.”
Cohen said he decided to officially retract his erroneous statement later that day, after several other co-workers expressed sympathy towards him. “Colleagues were approaching me, telling me to hang in there, and that tomorrow would be a better day. One of the other accountants even brought me a Coke. I just couldn’t live with myself, knowing that I really wasn’t having ‘One of those days’, yet acting as though I was, and accepting cold beverages.”
Cohen’s supervisors say that despite the incident, the thirty-nine year old accountant will keep his job. “Andy Cohen has been an integral part of our success” said company CEO William North “I think this whole ordeal has taught him a tough lesson, and we think that is punishment enough.”
Cohen agreed, saying “I’ll never say that I’m having ‘One of those days’ again. Unless, of course, I really am having ‘One of those days’.” |
