New York, NY - McDonald’s Corporation announced today that beginning in mid-August, the company’s popular “Happy Meals” will include one share of WorldCom, Enron, or ImClone stock, each currently valued at around nine cents. The stock certificate will replace the popular, but more expensive, children’s toys that have been part of the Happy Meal since its inception.
The strategy is “largely a cost-cutting” move, said McDonald’s spokesperson Andrea Michael, but she contends that children as well as adults will enjoy the stock. “Some stores are piloting a program that includes watercolor paints (along with the stock), so that children can paint the certificate. This way, they have fun, and their parents can keep the stock, for whatever that’s worth.” A call to the Securities and Exchange Commission verified that watercolor paint will not void the certificate, or reduce its value. “It’s pretty much worthless, anyway”, said an SEC employee who did not give us his name.
Including stocks from three fallen corporate giants will also appeal to children’s curious joy of collecting, said Michael. “Kids will love to collect all three stocks, and can even trade them with their friends, like a mini stock exchange. Can’t you just see one small child saying to another ‘I’ll give you two ImClones for an Enron’. How cute will that be?”
Despite Michael’s claims, most critics see the move as a way to cut costs and increase profits. The small toys that have been included with Happy Meals to this point cost about thirty-four cents to manufacture and package, on average, said Michael, and McDonald’s sells approximately 2.5 million Happy Meals annually. At those rates, including the stock certificate will save McDonald’s around $625,000 over the next year. If the company includes the watercolor paints, which it is likely to do, the savings will still be $500,000 annually. “Those are significant numbers”, said Michael, and combined with other cost-cutting measures, such as using “less beef” in its hamburgers, could help the fast-food giant return to profitability.
Following the announcement, McDonald’s stock was up over 9% in after-hours trading. |
