| Local Anchorman Comes Clean Admits most local news "irrelevant"; weather "over-hyped" |
| Louisville, KY - In a stunning interview, Steve Pollock, a recently retired anchorman who worked for Louisville's CBS affiliate WBBD, has admitted that most local news is irrelevant. He also alleged that news producers are aware of the meaninglessness of stories, yet still put them on the air. In an exclusive interview with The Blue Brick, Pollock stated that "I can count on one (hand) the really important stories that I covered during my career with WBBD". He cites having to do live remotes from pet store openings, covering elementary school children planting a tree, and interviewing a couple celebrating their seventieth wedding anniversary as examples of assignments that were "ridiculous" and "boring to the point that I started to drink". When pressed about the elderly couple's story, Pollock's voice rose. "I mean, so they've been married a long time. So what? They had nothing interesting to say, and they claimed that they never fought. It's one thing to be old, but to be liars as well? Come on." Pollock was not always so bitter. "I started at WBBD right out of college, and I was excited. I mean, television and hot chicks were my favorite things, and to be able to have a job that covered those interests was great. And back then, stations hired chicks because they were hot, not because they had degrees or anything stupid like that". He worked as a writer and reporter before landing the plum job as nightly anchor in 1988. "I thought things would change when I became anchor", said Pollock, "but the stories got more idiotic, and then they started with the weather." He claims that WBBD, and all local stations, over-hype the weather as well as the equipment that is used for forecasting. "Every few months, the station executives would re-name the equipment. 'Doppler 2000', 'The Forecastinator', 'RainMan', they were all the same junky radar that the station bought in 1978." For the record, WBBD management denies Pollock's claim, stating in a letter to The Blue Brick that "RainMan is the most sophisticated weather forecasting equipment available today. The allegations that it and the Forecastinator are in fact the same is ridiculous. They are not even the same color." Pollock chuckles when I read him the letter. "A coat of paint doesn't make the thing new. It's like putting make-up on an older broad. You know, underneath, she's still the same (old broad)". Pollock also claims that WBBD meteorologists would simply watch the Weather Channel, make some minor changes, and use the forecast as their own. "They'd add a degree or two to the high or low temperature, say 'partly cloudy' instead of 'mostly cloudy', things like that". Again, WBBD management denies this claim, stating "Mr. Pollock's allegations regarding the Weather Channel are completely false. We don't even get cable in the newsroom." So, why is Pollock coming forward with these claims now? He said that until he retired and began watching some local newscasts from his home, he did not realize the scope of the problem. "The viewers, they are the real losers here. For producers to put this crap on and think that we (the viewers) care, it's insulting. Yesterday I saw a story about a local woman who makes eyeglass cases from her husband's old belts. All the while, there was a scrolling weather report on the bottom of the screen, alerting us that 'precipitation activity' was likely later that night. Meanwhile, I look out my window and it's already pissing down rain. Christ!" Pollock hopes that his interview with The Blue Brick will bring about some changes in the local news industry, but he is doubtful. "They won't change a damn thing. The least they could do for us is to start hiring hot chicks again, and I doubt they'll even do that". Meanwhile, Pollock will try to enjoy his retirement in his modest home. He's begun working on his memoirs, tentatively titled "There is no Top Story-Confessions of a Local Anchorman". Despite the criticism, WBBD station manager Skip Mellon wishes only the best for Pollock. "Steve did a lot of good work for us. I think it is the liquor talking now." Mellon also introduced WBBD's latest addition, a news helicopter. "HoverCraft 3000 will allow us to bring you aerial shots of breaking stories, as well as weather reports from where the weather really starts, the sky." The final word went to Pollock, who responded to Mellon's comments as he sipped a bourbon and coke on his back porch. "Aerial shots of an old woman making eyeglass cases? What an idiot." Click Here to go to the front page and get more satire! |
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