“No” Really IS a Word in Everyone’s Vocabulary
Sales people make money. Sales people are pushy, never take “no” for an answer and always get their way. There was a time when this became the rule and everybody else was supposed to think like a salesperson in their jobs. Assertive, persuasive, and confident, these people became the examples to follow imposed on employees in other fields as well. And while we can say that these are great traits to have, it would be ridiculous to expect them from everybody.
The result? A growing anxiety over not being able to deal with things the way an assertive person would, not being able to negotiate a salary and not being confident enough to walk up to a person and ask a question. They all have one thing in common: a crippling fear of being rejected. And while learning how to handle rejection may not make you more confident, it can still save you the internal drama and borderline depression you are thrown into every time you hear the word “no”.
How to Handle Rejection and Keep Your Mental Health
They never say “no” to Sally
Get things like this out of your head! Sally has heard the word “no” plenty of times, but she has become your go-to person when you want to wallow in self-pity. Any person is faced with some form of rejection.
However, admitting the fact that there are some people who tend to get things done, even when it depends on the approval of others, here is how to explain it:
• They know how to pick their battles. Going against something impossible to achieve means setting yourself up for rejection. More accessible tasks build confidence.
• They have a way of formulating their requests that leave no room for interpretation.
• They work hard and do their homework to convince. It’s not about batting your lashes, it’s about what you say when you do it.
Sometimes people really do not need what you are selling or do not feel like doing what you are suggesting. It has nothing to do with you, your presentation, or your offer. Taking it personal is the worst thing you could do. It shows that instead of knowing it was an interaction with another human being, with needs and priorities of his own, you act like every person is someone testing your abilities to negotiate.
It has nothing to do with you
It’s OK to feel bad about it. It’s not OK to get depressed over it
It is perfectly acceptable to feel disappointed about a rejection, but it is not OK to start piling up past episodes on top of this one and sink deep in a pit of despair over how nothing turns out your way. Try to go over the whole thing. The timing may have been wrong or your connection may not have been the most receptive to what you were pitching. Try to work on it and improve things next time instead of going down the “this always happens to me” road.
Even love rejections are manageable if you know how to deal with it
Once again, the sooner you understand another human being is involved, the better it will be for you. While you are accountable for what you think or feel, so it the other person for his own feelings and thoughts. When forming a love connection, you will want a person that meets you half-way, instead of someone who was coerced into dating you. Rejection is fine. It shows that, even if you have mistakenly fallen for the wrong person, they will let you know. Investing feelings into the wrong relationship can end a thousand times worse than being rejected at the very beginning.
Also, rejection is a small risk to take when you think that you could be working up the guts to ask out the right person for you. If the answer is yes, it is even sweeter. If it is no, at least you tried.
We like to think that life is like an obstacle course. We keep running and we jump when we reach an obstacle. Some of us do not manage to jump high enough and we fall.
In fact, to many of us, life is like a maze through which we travel blindfolded. Every time we advance, we either move forward or we hit a wall. Every rejection is a wall. You cannot take personal the fact that there was a wall there, you just need to try again a little bit further. And it’s no wonder you cannot see other people struggle so hard to make their way through the maze. You are blindfolded. But then again, so are they. So, ram against those rejections. They will only make you experience life better.